I am tired of reading about how the NFL’s TV ratings are down due to players not standing for the National Anthem.  The ratings are down for many reasons, not just one reason.

We as a country have a long history of saying that we support free speech.  Our actions however sing a different tune.  We either are a country that supports individuals’ rights to express themselves or we aren’t. We can’t have it both ways.  We can’t just support freedom of speech/expression for the ideas we agree with.  If standing for the Anthem is such a big deal, why is it ok to sit at a sports bar, drink beer and cram food in your face during the Anthem?  Why aren’t people standing there?  If you really look at it, the players are standing for the Anthem.  They are standing up for something they believe in.  Civil Rights.  

Here are the reasons I believe that the NFL ratings are really down…

• Salary Cap.  Teams can’t stay within the cap to retain all their talent.  The NFL needs to look at different ways to do this.  
• TV Coverage.  The NFL should be showing more games on regular TV (ABC, CBS, NBC, ESPN, etc.).  The NFL want us to watch, but they make it harder.  NFL Sunday Ticket is about money, not about the fans.  Quit blacking out games that don’t sell out.   It is time the NFL looks at building the fan base.  NFL games are expensive to attend, make the game more accessible to everyone.
• Tom Brady.  Not really, just fun to blame him for stuff.
• Fantasy Football.  Yes, I do play it.  It has ruined the way I watch games.  I no longer care about game outcomes, just how my players did.  I don’t really enjoy watching actual games until the playoffs when I can enjoy watching the actual games.  I know this isn’t going to go away, but it does impact the way people watch or not watch.
• Bad teams.  There are just too many of them.
• Bad Match-ups in Prime Time.  Bad teams get to square off in prime time on Thursday nights, Sunday nights and Monday nights.  NFL needs to move the best matchups to these prime time spots.  
• Injuries.  So many injuries.  Who wants to watch two back-up QBs battle it out?  It is  like a pre-season game.

I think you get the point.  There are so many reasons the NFL is struggling.  Blaming the kneeling during the Anthem is just an attempt to mask a much larger problem and it diverts attention away from the real reason these players are kneeling–so that no one has to have uncomfortable discussions about racism, but that’s just my feeling.

Oh, and for the record, Papa John’s pizza sales are most likely down due to better options.  LOL!

*Special thank you to my wife Kelly for serving as my editor for all my blog posts!

I am always amused by the things people say when they really aren’t sure what to say.   If you are a foster parent,  I’m sure you can relate.

“I could never do that.”  This is typically followed up by some reasoning about becoming too attached to the child.  This is never an easy statement for us to respond to.  We are attached to many children that aren’t our own kids.  We have two nieces and a nephew that we love dearly.   If a time comes when our foster daughter is not living with us any longer, we will be sad to see her go.  We just know that while we have her, we are going to give her home where she can feel safe and loved so she can continue to grow and develop.

“She is so lucky to have parents like you.”  For the record, we are great parents, but yet to receive the award.  I have been waiting and waiting for it, but nothing.   I don’t believe that any child in the foster care system feels lucky.  Put yourself in their shoes.  Would you feel lucky if you were taken from everyone and everything you love and put with some people you don’t know?  How would you feel?  Just because they may have been in a difficult situation, it doesn’t mean they weren’t attached to it.  When they enter the foster care system, things are still difficult for them.  They are confused and scared.   Even if we are great people, we are still a new situation for them.  Change is difficult for most people, let alone a child.

“What do you know about her biological parents?  Were they on drugs?”  We always address this with “we don’t know a lot about her background.”  This may or may not be the case, but we won’t share what we know about it with you.  It is personal to the child and we want to keep it that way.

“You guys are saints for doing this.”  We are not.  We aren’t superheroes either.  We are just a family who has been called to serve in this way.  There are many ways people can serve; this is ours.  When people say this, it is basically saying that we are saving this child.  We aren’t saving anyone.  We love kids and want to be a part of the solution, even if it is just a small part.  We aren’t any better than you or anyone else.  We appreciate the compliment, but saints we are not.

“Why are you fostering?  Can’t you have your own kids?”  This is always a difficult question for us.  We foster because we felt called to do it.  Whether we can have kids of our “own” is irrelevant.  When you say “own,” you really mean biological.  We have a son that we adopted when he was a baby.  He is our “own” child.  Maybe not biological, but the love we have for him unmeasurable.   This is not a question I would recommend that you ever ask someone.  If you know them well enough that they share their story with you, feel honored, not entitled.

“Are you planning to adopt her?”  There are really three camps foster parents fall into:  we are foster parents only, we are fostering to adopt, or we are fostering and if the situation presents itself, we will consider adoption.   All three are fantastic options.  Children in the system need loving and supportive homes.  Not all children in the system are available to be adopted.  Their biological parents are working to make changes in their lives so they can reunify with their child(ren).   When someone is a new foster parent, they may not be at a place to answer this question. Nor should they feel they have to.

“Why would they ever send a kid back to their parents?  They don’t deserve them.” This is easy to judge from the outside.  When you are inside and you see a parent doing all the right things to make amends and make life changes, you may feel differently.   They key is to focus on the child and what is in the best interest of the child.  It is truly a complicated endeavor.

Here is what I would say to myself if finding out I had become a foster parent.  “Wow, you are nuts.  Really, a crazy person.  I feel so sorry for your wife.  I thought she was normal.  I guess she is off her rocker too!”   Really, say something like “That is great to hear.  I know there are a lot of children that are in need of foster families.”  If you are really interested, you can follow up with “I would love to hear more about your experience.”  Then invite me to coffee.

Source: 6 Weeks of Foster Familying and Counting

Today marks 6 weeks that my wife, son and I have become a foster family to a 3 year old little girl.   While it is fresh on my mind, I thought I would share some things we have learned so far.

• There are over 18,000 children in state care in Arizona.  That is not a typo.  Over 18,000!
• Questions, Questions, Questions.  We had and have a lot of questions.  Keep a notebook of questions and get the answers.
• A new sense of normal.  Bringing a child into your home impacts everyone in the house.  Training focuses mostly on the potential needs of the child.   This is important. You also need to know that this new addition to family will also change your needs, your spouse’s needs and your current children’s needs.  Finding a new sense of normal will not happen over night.  It takes time.
• The “honeymoon” phase.  It may be like an Arizona spring.  Yes, it does exist, but if you blink you may miss it.
• Everyone loves ice cream.  Obviously that is not true, but it is important to find a way to connect.  Maybe it is through their favorite dinner or dessert.  Maybe it is through an activity they enjoy.  The key here is to find a way to create a smile and begin building a relationship.
• Financial Realities.  While you will get money from the state for the child, it is not immediate.  We are 6 weeks in and haven’t received any financial support yet.  This shouldn’t deter you, but it is something to make note of and will vary depending on the age of the child and what they come with (i.e clothes, shoes, toys, daycare, etc).
• There are mountains and mole hills.  Children who enter foster care come with some baggage.  You can’t tackle all of them at once.
• Be proactive.  There a many people in place to support you and the child.  They all have large case loads. You will need to be proactive to ensure your child gets the services they need.   You will also need to chase down information.  You may need to be the squeaky wheel.
• Build bridges.  The people there to support you don’t necessarily know each other or talk to one another.  Be the bridge to keep everyone in the loop.
• Sense of humor required.  Laugh often.  You will need it.  That or a stiff drink.  LOL
• They are worth it.  The overall foster care system is like a cardiogram.  Lots of ups and downs.  While you will face some frustrations, remember, these children are worth it.  Our role is to create a  loving and nurturing environments so they can blossom.

I started doing CrossFit a number of years ago. I took a long break, but decided to return in January 2016. In my early days of doing CrossFit, I was focused on form. By the time I decided to quit, I was focused on outcome. The outcome was the cause of my needing to leave CrossFit. I was having constant back pain. It was difficult to be on a month, then off a month dealing with a back issue. I called it quits. So then, why did I return?

My back pain was never about CrossFit. It was about my willingness to forgo proper form for a better time or a better finish depending on the workout. Some people will blame that on CrossFit. I don’t. I blame myself for it.   I have learned a valuable lesson that if you forgo process for short-term gains, you will have long-term failures. This is true both in CrossFit and life.

I would have returned sooner, but CrossFit is hard. Once you are away from it for an extended period of time, it is mentally challenging to go back. I have however made my return. Here are my reasons why.

• I am lazy. I can pretend that I will go to the gym and get a good workout, but the reality is that I need someone pushing me. So to the box I go (box is CF terminology for gym).
• Community.  CrossFit boxes are team and community based. It is great to workout in a community. It is an amazing feeling to WOD (workout of day) with people who care about your successes. It is a place where you get to know and become friends with the people you WOD with.  CrossFit is as much about building community as it is about health and fitness.  Celebrating wins is an every day occurrence at CrossFit.
• Accomplishment.  CrossFit is the most challenging workout I have been part of. Small victories, medium victories, large victories, other people’s victories. When you begin to do things that you never thought you could, that’s accomplishment. When you do things you set out goals to achieve, that’s accomplishment. When you are genuinely happy for another persons success, that’s accomplishment. CrossFit can both build and humble the best of people.  Welcome to CrossFit.
• To be strong. I do not have a desire to be Thor or attempt to win the master’s division of the CrossFit games. I do however desire to be strong. Strong is sexy.
• I’m still lazy. It is helpful for me to have some notice that I am not there and call me out on it.
• The family affair. My wife does CrossFit as well. It is fun to workout together when our schedules allow. It is also fun to be able to talk about successes and failures together as we work to be healthy.
• Back pain. Well, I don’t want back pain. I want a stronger core so that I have fewer back issues. I am focused on proper form this time. I have checked the ego at the door. I will do it differently this time.
• For the food. I like food that is not so good for you. I feel less guilty about an over indulgence.   I feel like I have earned it.
• It’s full body. Every WOD works out your entire body. It is amazing how you find muscles you never knew existed.
• The coaching. I have mentioned this a bit in some of the other bullets. The support is great, the planned workouts are great, but the coaching is excellent.   Coaches are designed to ensure you are doing things the right way (if you let them) and push you beyond what you think is possible.
• The Variety. The workouts of the day (WOD) changes every day, every week, etc. The variety is great. You do repeat workouts, but not very often and they are designed to allow you to measure improvement. I love that.

If you haven’t tried CrossFit, I recommend that you do. Most CrossFit gyms will give you a free class. I warn you however; this is not your run of the mill workout. Prepare to be sore!

1. Choose your major wisely. While all majors can lead to a career, some have more opportunities than others.
2. Seek wise counsel. Don’t just rely on college advisors and career center staff to guide your choices. Ask people who currently practice in your field of interest.
3. Get work experience in your major. Internships are not always enough. Get a part-time job or seek an apprenticeship in your field.
4. Build your network. Get involved in major related clubs and organizations that allow you to network with those who currently practice in your field. Spend time getting to know those people.
5. Get a LinkedIn account if you don’t have one and use it. Stay connected to the people who can help you find jobs.
6. Read articles about your field and stay current on the latest trends and topics. Read for pleasure to open your mind to a world of possibilities. Both will increase your personal and professional vocabulary.
7. Decide if college itself is the right avenue for you. Maybe a skilled trade fits you better.   The world needs experts in these trades.
8. Dream big. Set your sights on big things and go after them. Don’t ever sell yourself short.
9. Thank the people who help you along the away. There is no such thing as a self-made man/woman. Everyone gets help from someone.
10. When you are beginning to reach your goals, give back to those who have not gotten there yet.

I am one of those foolish Americans who have decided to get fit and lose weight in 2016.   I read that 73% of the people set resolutions quit before they reach their goal. Good thing for me is that my goal was to simply get back to Crossfit and start a diet. Resolution achieved!

I began my quest on Tuesday, January 5^th. It was my first time back at Crossfit Blade in about 2 years. Bringing muscles out of retirement is not easy feat. They did not come out so willingly. It was more of a negotiation. I am not sure they are fully on board with my decision either.   Each morning we have to chat so that they will allow me to walk. So far, they are complying with my requests, but they make sure that I feel each an every step I take.

Losing weight will be just as hard. I’m not calling it a diet. I am going with “lifestyle change.” To me that sounds better. It makes me think I have committed to something bigger. I kicked off this change on Monday, January 11^th. Why didn’t I do both at the same time? I’m glad you asked.   It’s because I don’t like lifestyle changes. I like to eat, hence my problem. Anyway, I am off and “running” with this change now. I can honestly say that I went to bed hungry last night. I have had breakfast this morning and can honestly say that I am still hungry. Sad part is that I am consuming enough food to not be hungry.

I will report out how things are going in 12 weeks. Until then….

1. I wish for my son to have an easy transition into his new school in January and that he can learn to love school again.
2. I wish for my brothers to find the jobs of their dreams (or ones that pay well enough to create new dreams).
3. I wish for my mother to have a successful transition into retirement.
4. I wish candy to be discovered to be a super food that we should eat more of.
5. I wish that people would step down off their high horses and stop judging others and start embracing and learning from each other’s differences.
6. I wish that Americans would have good choices for President.
7. I wish that climate change was positive for the planet.
8. I wish for someone to create a gluten free pizza that is as good at the real thing. Same for Beer, but I know that is beyond a Christmas wish, that gets into miracle status.
9. I wish for more quality time with friends. Where does the time go?
10. I wish for those who don’t know Christ get to know him.
11. I wish for the NY Giants to run the table, make the playoffs and win the Super Bowl. Sorry, maybe this should have been a Christmas miracle posting.
12. I wish for my wife to daily feel how proud I am of her and how awesome I think she is. I guess my wish is that I stay this lucky 🙂

What would higher education look like if we scrapped the existing model and started over from scratch?  Here are some things I think may change….

• Employability of graduates would become the primary outcome.  A well-rounded education is great, but if it doesn’t help/prepare students for careers, we are missing the point.
• Tuition would be proportionate to the salaries in the field of study.
• Apprenticeships would be a requirement of graduation.  Internships have become more about exposure to a field while apprenticeships are hands-on experience in the field.
• General education requirements would be reduced.  I know some would say they could go away.  I am not one of those.  Too narrow a focus keeps thinking inside the box.  Not to mention that too many college students graduate without the ability to write well as it is.  Let’s not add to the problem.
• Everyone would learn to dance.  Just kidding.  Just checking if you are actually reading this.
• Developmental education would be accelerated and a shared responsibility with secondary education.  We need to better prepare students before they get to college.  Once they are there, if the need for developmental education still exists, we need to find ways to quickly prepare them for college level work.
• We would focus less on brick and mortar and spend more on technology infrastructure.  By leveraging technology and elearning, there is less need for additional classroom space.
• Learning skilled trades would be as highly valued as a college degree.  This is an under appreciated aspect of what community colleges deliver.
• Tenure would go away and faculty would be evaluated each year like other industry employees are.  Faculty should be afforded academic freedom, but academic freedom should not allow for poor performance in the classroom.
• Adjunct faculty would be held to the same academic excellence that is expected from full-time faculty.  No more warm bodies.

Even in a reboot of higher education, there is no “quick fix” or easy solution.  I do believe that change is needed to better address the future needs of the world.

10 things I have learned from international business travel.

1. There is an art to packing. If you roll your clothes, you will fit more but iron more.
2. The carry-on saves the stress of wondering if your bag will arrive with you.
3. You will always pack more than you need in the beginning.  If you travel with seasoned business travelers, pick their brains about it. Most hotels offer laundry service. No need to pack for every day of your trip.  Pay close attention to what you use and don’t use on the trip. It will help you when you pack for the next trip.
4. Airline food is about as delicious as a sandwich from a gas station.  Bring something on with you.
5. Pack workout clothes and use them.  You need to work off that hotel buffet.
6. Movies can help the trip go by quickly. If you travel frequently, be sure to rent some movies for your tablet or phone as you will have seen all that the airline has to offer.
7. Get access to the business center (if the hotel has one). Lobbies can be loud to work in and you will want to get out of your room. You will have access to beverages all day, typically a happy hour and sometimes breakfast. It is worth the cost.
8. Audio is better than video when calling home. When I say better, I mean quality. You always want to see your family, but video uses more bandwidth and can make the conversations choppy.
9. Building your frequent flyer miles is great, but fewer connections are better than frequent flyer miles. I prefer the most direct route vs. building miles. If you travel to the same places often, find the airline that offers the best routes and build your miles through them.
10. It is always amazing how many people who don’t travel internationally will tell you not to drink the water! LOL