Today marks 6 weeks that my wife, son and I have become a foster family to a 3 year old little girl.   While it is fresh on my mind, I thought I would share some things we have learned so far.

• There are over 18,000 children in state care in Arizona.  That is not a typo.  Over 18,000!
• Questions, Questions, Questions.  We had and have a lot of questions.  Keep a notebook of questions and get the answers.
• A new sense of normal.  Bringing a child into your home impacts everyone in the house.  Training focuses mostly on the potential needs of the child.   This is important. You also need to know that this new addition to family will also change your needs, your spouse’s needs and your current children’s needs.  Finding a new sense of normal will not happen over night.  It takes time.
• The “honeymoon” phase.  It may be like an Arizona spring.  Yes, it does exist, but if you blink you may miss it.
• Everyone loves ice cream.  Obviously that is not true, but it is important to find a way to connect.  Maybe it is through their favorite dinner or dessert.  Maybe it is through an activity they enjoy.  The key here is to find a way to create a smile and begin building a relationship.
• Financial Realities.  While you will get money from the state for the child, it is not immediate.  We are 6 weeks in and haven’t received any financial support yet.  This shouldn’t deter you, but it is something to make note of and will vary depending on the age of the child and what they come with (i.e clothes, shoes, toys, daycare, etc).
• There are mountains and mole hills.  Children who enter foster care come with some baggage.  You can’t tackle all of them at once.
• Be proactive.  There a many people in place to support you and the child.  They all have large case loads. You will need to be proactive to ensure your child gets the services they need.   You will also need to chase down information.  You may need to be the squeaky wheel.
• Build bridges.  The people there to support you don’t necessarily know each other or talk to one another.  Be the bridge to keep everyone in the loop.
• Sense of humor required.  Laugh often.  You will need it.  That or a stiff drink.  LOL
• They are worth it.  The overall foster care system is like a cardiogram.  Lots of ups and downs.  While you will face some frustrations, remember, these children are worth it.  Our role is to create a  loving and nurturing environments so they can blossom.