Corey: Let me say Mr. Baggins, that I have been a huge fan of yours for a long time.

Bilbo: Thank you. Please call me Bilbo.

Corey: Ok, Bilbo it is. I must say Bilbo, I really thought your feet would be bigger.

Bilbo: Hahaha. Yes, I get that a lot. The movie adaptation of my journey really took some liberties there.

Corey: Do you consider yourself a super hero?

Bilbo: I did for a while there.   Ultimately it is why I decided to give up the ring.

Corey: Really? Interesting. You gave up the ring because of that? I thought it was because it needed to destroyed so it didn’t fall into the wrong hands.

Bilbo: That is all BS. We could have easily used the ring to take out the Great Enemy. We could still have it now. I would be considered….(long pause)

Bilbo: Let’s not talk about the ring. I’m still a little pissed about it still.

Corey: Sorry, no problem. I didn’t mean too. (interrupted)

Bilbo: Ok, move on.

Corey: What was it like to travel with elves and dwarves?

Bilbo: It was a rocky start with the dwarves, but over the journey we truly became friends. Great group really.

Corey: And the Elves?

Bilbo: Did you even read my book or did you just see the movie?! I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer.

Corey: Wow, you really are still pissed about the ring.

Bilbo: Yes, but I also get pissed when people ask me questions about the movie rather than my book.

Corey: I forgot that Legolas was not part of your book.

Bilbo: No sir. I know him though. Talk about a dude that likes himself a bunch. I heard that he begged to be represented in the movie so people would still love him. It may just be a rumor though.

Corey: What about Azog and the pack of orcs that were chasing you. What was that experience like.

Bilbo: Common man. I am seriously questioning why I agreed to this interview. I have to stop responding to tweet requests for interviews.

Corey: Haha! I was only kidding on that one. I know they were not part of your book.

Corey: I will however ask you about the goblins.

Bilbo: That was an awful experience really. The smell was…it was…lets just say the worst I have ever smelled.

Corey: Your story is really a coming of age story. I often tell people you are my favorite literary character of all time. From your sheepish start to your heroic finish, I truly became a fan.

Bilbo: Thank you for that. It was a difficult journey to say the least. I at times had to wrestle with my own decision making to ensure that I was honoring and true to my team. In the end I decided it would be better to live this adventure with them than die dreaming of the adventure I could have had. The only way to do that was to face my fears and move forward.

Corey: Just a couple of more questions.

Corey: Smaug. Lets talk about Smaug.

Bilbo: I have been waiting for some questions about Smaug.

Corey:   What was it like to come face-to-face with a freakin’ dragon?!

Bilbo: HaHaHa! I was tested there for sure. It was life changing. Dragons are super intelligent and very nasty. They are like super villains really.

Corey: Yes, Smaug was impressive.

Corey: The final battle was awesome.

Bilbo: I think so now, but in the moment, it was horrible. As you notice, I am not the biggest fellow. This was the most intense time of my life. I was happy we prevailed, but didn’t think I was going to make it out alive.

Corey: In the end, you made off with quite a bit of gold.

Bilbo: I did ok.

Corey: Just ok?

Bilbo: Maybe slightly better than ok.

Corey: Come on Bilbo, how’d you do?

Bilbo: I made off like a “burglar.” Get it, burglar. HAHAHAHA!

Corey: HA!